Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My reflection on « Why do people have to leave each other »

I was in a train with some university friends . we had as a destination an international conference where we were representing our school. It was then when I 1st discovered the article that was printed by my good friend and class mate. Due to the same friend’s illness that occurred during our journey, I was able only to read the 1st lines of the article , that moved me right away. Once arrived to the hotel room and relaxed a bit, I took some time and read the article. I felt it was describing me . I was exactly a person dependent on other people . Tears dropped from my eyes as I continued the  article and discovered so many other things. Some of which I was feeling , and others I was yet to live and experience .

I have always been dependent on people. I wouldn’t survive without having someone I’d consider close from me. I am a person with a big heart and doesn’t truly agree with the concept of balance. In all my relationships I tend to give all what I have of love and affection. This , usually considered as extremely unusual and pleasant , was indeed the reason I’d get hurt most times.
In that period of time , I had a “somebody”. A person I considered special to me. We were close but in a slightly different way from my other “close” experiences. We’d talk all day long through the ways provided by today’s multi technologies. We’d get disconnected from the world and other people and spend time talking only to each other.
Later on, as a prize and sign of respect and deep affection, I gave this article to that person. Few days later this person left me. I’m still though wondering if he did read the article or not. My wish was that he’d learn as much as I did from reading the article. And I felt bad. Upset. And Sad. It made me cry , and wonder why such event occurred. I questioned myself a million times about what have I possibly done to make this person go away suddenly. I came to the conclusion that I was mostly unsatisfied with this person not being part of my daily life anymore, because this time I thought I was ready. I still until today admire this person and I might seem girly – which I totally am – but I always deep inside believe I will inshAllah find that soul mate of mine.

My friend who gave me the article said that while reading it, she too felt it was describing her as a person and what she has been through. It made me reflect : are we as human beings all deeply sensible ? even the ones that might seem the toughest among us ?
Everything happens for a reason. Even Allah taking a precious thing from you , as said in the article. In our most difficult and painful times, it is hard for us to reflect about this. But in my life I have realized it, and through many situations where I was blessed enough to reflect this thought . I take the most basic example : my academic education. I’ve always dreamed to be an engineer , simply because my dad is one and I learned to love his job. In high school, my orientations were according to this dream. Eventually, Allah had another plan for me, and effectively I ended up joining business school. I had no regret and decided to be open for this new opportunity , taking it as it came and hoping it would be a good thing . And Alhamdulilah it was. I met some of the nicest people ever, I discover that what I was studying was practical and useful for today and the future, I joined one of the most wide international organizations, and within less than a year of membership within it, I was elected as a local vice president. Not even for a second I would have imagined all this would happen to me. I didn’t even think of how my life would be in case my dream of joining engineering studies wasn’t to be realized . subhanAllah. If earlier they would have shown me a window of my future life, I might have not liked it . But thinking about it , it was worth all the times I doubted about myself, failed, cried every cell in my body and thought I wasn’t meant to find happiness nor satisfaction in life.
In my culture, when encountered with a loss or reflected about a potential upcoming lost, people usually tell you “after all, there is Allah”. I say ; Before All there is Allah. We should depend only on him. Be deeply attached to him (swt) only.

It is the sweetness of discovery that loss wasn’t indeed a “loss” but something we learn from. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and like said a young relative of my “somebody”, with or without that special , close person in our life, the sun will rise tomorrow.
So I started thinking. What was the purpose of me meeting and getting attached to that “somebody” ?
He always used to tell me about his dear elder sister and how they were close. And I told him I wish I had that relationship with my own brother. He answered me saying that inshAllah I will, in the future. And indeed. Since that time, my brother and I got closer, and slightly our relationship got better.
I also got back to writing . I haven’t wrote deeply nor honestly ever since I got elected. I got busy with studies and work and I didn’t find time nor inspiration anymore. Maybe that was why I met him. Mayeb he came into my life as a sign that I should reflect on what I have compared to what I had to compromise. I will never know. But once again this is what makes it special : not knowing.

I know I’m not perfect. I will never be perfect. I know I am confident and have a high iman now , but I’m also aware that in some time I wont. I will doubt again about my self and get disappointed. I will meet people who will eventually walk away from my life, and I will feel lonely . But in all that, I will have moments of reflections and getting back and closer to Allah. Getting back to where I started is better than never leaving. Everything precious requires practice and skill. And living without regret is surely one of them.
I don’t regret spending lovely deep conversations with that somebody whom I like to call my lovely stranger. I am left with good memories. I’m grateful to have had him in my life as well as having crossed his.
I believe that before all there is Allah who takes care of me. I believe all these pain experiences are good for me, and contribute profoundly in my personal development. As there is pain there is relief. With hardship comes ease , and the sun always shines even after a long dark winter. inshAllah I’ll find my true happiness and will be delighted . But before so, I still need to experience a lot, to feel a lot. And if this is only a bit of what Allah subhanahu has planned for me, then I can’t wait for what us yet to come.

Thank you deeply Sister Yasmin Mogahed. Your article touched me in ways I could never properly describe. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I do

I don't even know if this blog has anymore readers !

I know what you think ; once again I'll apologize for being absent for a long time again !
I'm truly sorry, due to all the responsibilities I have, my studies, my work and my family, i don't even find the suitable time anymore. This said, I will inshAllah update the blog whenever I can , so please keep stopping by , I appreciate it <3

I will continue in my following posts , the update about my cousin wedding just like I said I will inshAllah :)

Please keep me all in your duaas !

This is a gift to all my blog readers ; I usually do not share on public ( not even with very close friends ) what I secretly write because it reveals my tru emotions, but I was goign around my files and found this beautiful paragraph I wrote , and since some of you always check on my blog , this is for YOU ! let me know how you find it !

"Today I woke up to open my eyes to a beautfiul day . the most promising day . the room was enlightened by the breas sunlight , and my eyes contempled the filled room with the slightly packed gifts as I layed in a soft draps on a smooth bed . I didn’t wonder about what’s the boxed were filled with , I didn’t think of what to do , and softly got out to put my foots over the cold ground . As I approached the window , a smile drawed by my lips , people were coming in and out of the place , everyone was getting ready . Minutes after my bath , Breakfast was brought to me , but I couldn’t make anything pass my stomach . the time that followed was a long while that took my makeup to be done . normally I would have found that a punishment sitting still for hours , though I couldn’t feel anything disturbing. Thoughts were going through my mind like a sweet movie that is clear and not at all confusing . I was reviewing the scenario of when it all begin , of when my fancy turned to a romance then to a dream coming true .. I stood up and wore the most outstanding dress . Soft silk and strapless , made the quiet creature a butterfly that couldn’t wait to just fly away . I store at the mirror and found my self as overwhelmed as ever ; flawless makeup , gorgeous jewelry , intricate bridal wear . Then the moment came to take the walk . The weirdest excitement attacked me ; inspite of wanting to jump and hurry up , all I wanted is to slow down , and make it last . If only this day could last forever . if only I could live in this exact moment . I lost all my words , the beautiful garden couldn’t shine softly more . everybody’s eyes were filled with deep dreams , as I walked in between , all the emotions that I went through , made it feel right for me to belong to that walk . My feets were walking with no command as my brain wasn’t indeed functioning either in thinking . As I reached the end , a hand took mine , and my eyes opened clearly to his eyes .
During our standing at each other , something made my heart skip a beat and I realized how so much can be said in silence . Our eyes were glowing of lights , and hearts filled with joy . If I was asked to speak I wouldn’t have been able to find my words , yet my reveries stopped and as the following words got out of my tongue ; “I do” the beautiful reality began ." 

May you all have a nice day and time inshAllah ! Toodles ! 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

WR : The long awaited Wedding !

Salaam !
I can't believe how time flies ! With the wedding festivities, relaxing for a bit more days, then getting back to university .
I'm glad I finally found time to update my blog, and write about the most awaited event of this year; my cousin's wedding !
Ever since I was young, my dream was to attend her wedding . She wasn't only just a cousin , but more like of an elder sister, and this year my dream cae true , alhamdulilah!

The wedding was divided to three functions ( mehndi/henna and nikah -signing the marriage act- day, reception , and walima/groom's side reception ) , and we had a day off beteen each event which was a good thing so we got to relax and renew our energy.

The 1st day was held in my oncle's wedding ( bride's house ) . At first they were mostly women , and the bride had a tinny henna ceremony . There was a traditional women band playing which made the mood joyfull. Then after the groom and his family came bring a set of a party , he brought along gifts and henna for the bride accompagnied by another traditional small band ( if you're keen on indian culture, it's exactly like when the groom comes over the horse and brings the baaraat with his side ).
Shortly after their arrival, the marriage contract was signed, and dinner was served .
We left just right after dinner , that was approximately 2.00am.

I wore my new purple outfit , the ceremony was truly beautiful and held in an outstanding traditional house of my uncle's , the bride wore one outfit ; white with some golden jewellery. I just simply loved how there were only close family and friends in this small intimate function !

Bridal Stage

The sweets of the day 

 Dessert ( we usually have fruits as dessert during events in my country)

Stay tuned for upcoming posts about the other funciton days ! 

Monday, August 27, 2012

WR : Monday's Exitment

2 days only !
Yes, only 2 days are left for the wedding ! Can't believe many months have gone ! It's been over a year !
Almost everything is ready , and I'm done with my last minutes shopping this morning , I even got the hijabs for my outfits , which was the hard part alhamdulilah !

I know its late , but still , I'd like to wish you all a blessed Eid , and may it bring happiness and barakah on you and your loved ones inshAllah (*^_^*)

Just after Eid , exactly the 3rd day of Eid, weddings started all around , and almost everyone I know attended one or more .
We ourselves, had another wedding this past week end , however it took place in another city where it got SO hot these days ( over 47°C ) so we didnt go, instead we took a family week end away from all the preparations and wedding stress, and headed to the mall for a relax and shoping day , and yesterday we went to the beach to freshen up !

My aunts and mom are making the last appetizers and sweets , and alhamdulilah only very few things are left!

We made this appetizers before Eid , they are soo yummy ! :

I'm just too exited and can't wait inshAllah ! Attending my cousin's wedding , which appears to be like my elder sister, has always been a dream for me ever since I was young , and I just can't believe it's about to become true inshAllah !!!

Goign through the net I  foudn this AMAZING video from Film Style Weddings  . Check it out , I'm sure it will make you eager to go to a wedding or simply in love with such event ! 


Let me know what You are upto ! 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Isolde Salad

Salaam . 

This holy month has almost came to an end , and it is with sadness that we will say good bye Ramadan in few hours ! 

As I mentioned before , its during Ramadan that I cook the most , and lately , I've been coming up with creative new dishes for mostly dinner . Thanks to fasting , my family and I , don't like eating something heavy ( which is contrary to our culture ) for dinner , in order to later have Suhur and feel good the following day .

I just simply love salads ! We never invent in this cooking fiel though lol , but still this Ramadan a couple of times I made some truly unique , yet delicious ones ! 

For yesterday's dinner , I made this wonderful salad , that I inspired from a cooking book ( didn't follow the exact recipe however ) . Therefore , I named it Isolde Salad ! 
You might wonder why such name . Indeed , before making this salad, I was watching that movie ; " Tristan & Isolde" , and I simply loved both the name , and the character of Isolde . 
My salad includes  fresh and natural ingredients which is perfectly the characteristics of Isolde ; the character.

Here is the recipe :

Ps : There are no specific quantities , the ingredients depend on how much you'd like to eat , and/or how many people you'll be serving :) 

Cut the lettuce , tomatoes into small pieces , and mix them with corn kernels and mayonnaise , and put them on a plate in the form of a cercle ( just like in the pic ) ( the circle form was inspired from Isolde's hair style :D)
Cook some shrimps in a pan with some butter , salt and pepper . 
Add the shrimp to some pieces of avocado and some pasta ( its better to mix them in the same bowl where you mixed the lettuce and tomatoes) , add a tinny table spoon of mayonnaise , 2 table spoons of olive oil and  1 tbs. of vinegar .
Mix gently , and put inside of the circle and voilĂ  ! 

Optional : You can add some grated cheese on the top .

Enjoy this extremly rich and delicious salad ! 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

WR : Things She Shall Take Along

Salaam To you Ladies !

I hope you're doing fine , and having a nice time during this Holy month .
As for me, things has been taking me from one to another , so I've completly left out blogging for several days.

Today I'll be updating you about my cousin's wedding preparations . Time is running out , and it's been unbelievable how it flies ! I'm still realizing that a whole year has come to an end , and that the wedding is in only a couple of weeks !

By now, almost everything is ready , alhamdulilah . There are only the small logistics - I'd like to call - things to take care of .
The food for both the two days is being chosen and ordered this days , the flowers are being selected and the relatives are helping !

My mom and aunt proposed to help and to make some of the appetizers that will be served on the wedding reception , and they will start making those this next days inshAllah.

The other day , my auncle's wife - the bride's mom - invited us to see the jahiz - shwar ( how we call it ) .
You might be wondering what that would be , I'll gladely reply that that is a set of all the things the bride will take home with her !

This seemed soo exiting to see all the new things bought especially for this special occasion !

Me , my other cousin , mom and aunts , went together to see the shwar .

It consisted of :

Traditional table cloths ; about 3 or 4 sets in different colors , accomapgnied by other modern table cloths. The matching ply towels were among the sets

Towel : a wide range of towels of all the sizes and in multi colors .

A bridal duvet : this is a very important element that the bride usually selects with high taste and caution . Now , this is usually all white with pearls and designs , but my cousin bought a grey one , also with pearls and designs .

Caftans : a set of traditional clothing that she'd be wearing either at home when guests will come to visit , or for small event and dinner parties ( if you're a bride or a bride - to -be , then you'll know that after the wedding you'll be invited to many social and family dinner ! )

Bridal outfits : yaay ! I was so happy to Finally see what they look like ! unfortunately they were folded lol . We didnt completly open them , but they are absolutely magnificent ! its the 3 outfits to be worn at the wedding reception : a white-gold one , a pink and a blue one . They consisted of two pieces of fabric . Later on I'll post pics and show you inshAllah !

Intimates : ( I give the credit to shaza for this calling lol ) consists of lingerie , underwears and pjs . We didnt see this part of the shwar , as my cousin the bride thought if wasnt truly appropriate to show this part , eve to us :p

Presents for the groom and his family . This is not done by many peope in our country , but it's a family tradition and we decided to keep it . It included for tissue fabrics for the mother and sister in law ( later on they can make traditional dresses out of these fabrics ) , shirts for the groom's brothers , pjs and home wear for the groom himself , a traditional gandoura for the groom , and other things I can't recall .

There were a widre range of things , as a whole room was filled with suitcases containing these things , and what I quoted was the main things I could remember .

Npow unfortunately I didn't take my phone with me as it was left in my handbag that stayed in the living room down stairs , so I did not take any pictures .
However ,  here some pictures showing similar things I spoke about in this post , that I found online .


If you or someone close to you is getting married , I hope this was useful to you , and please do let me know ! Also if you're blog is about anything similar I'd love to check it out ! 

Have a lovely Tuesday ! 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Ramadan : The Holy Month

Salaam !
Ramadan of this year just started alhamdulilah ! For this occasion I wish you all a Ramadan Mubarak to you and your loved ones , may Allah bless you with happiness , faith and health , Ameen !

In each Ramadan , we do our best to perfom well islamically , between salah , fasting reading quran , volunteering and so on of good deeds .
This Ramadan my perspective is not to sleep too much , and not over eat !
Now for sleep , you must be saying ; "that's no big deal ! you can have rest in Ramadan !" , well no , not exactly . Over the past few years , I used to sleep without counting , and it wouldn't matter for me if I woke up at whatever time . However , I'd feel dizy the whole day , and wouldn't be productive at any task !
It is therefore that I decided that this year inshAllah I'd follow a certain programme . At night we get back from taraweeh at around 10.30pm and with dinner and family socializing, we would finish till 11.20pm . I now go to sleep at 11.40pm max . I wake up for Suhur at 3.00pm-ish , go back to sleep at 4am , and the morning force myself not to sleep over than 10am .
If it might seem very little , then let me tell you that in fact it is not ! With this sleeping routine , on the morning , I feel I had enough sleep , I'm much more focused while performing during the day , and alhamdulilah it feels good .

Now , for food . I'm a food lover . I can't deprive myself from food , that's why it's hard for me to diet . If you know me , you will kill me after reading this post , simply because I do not need any diet and I'm thin :D but I never said I wanted to lose weight , did I ?
Honestly , I just want to be fit and eat  healthy , which I've been doing since I got into university alhamdulilah.
But with Ramdan , it's another story . We all wait so passionaly for the iftar time . During the day Everybody is cooking , yes litterally everybody. Either at homes , or out , the smell of food is everywhere during Ramadan .
And me , whos is a fan of cooking , during this holy month , I always look for new recipes , adn each day make something special .
One incovenient about us ( in my country) ; the iftar table is FULL . I'm serious ! it's like you cant see any empty area on the table ! and just after the muazzin call for maghrib prayer , we start !
Trust me , it's near impossible to eat just what you need , after seeing such a full table with tempting dishes . And right after the iftar , you start feeling like your stomach is packed .
This year , I stood for myself and said Stop !
All the food i usually take makes me feel kind of sick later , and while orayign taraweeh , I can't concentrate and all I think about is laying down .
This is why , I made a programme . I decided I'd have exactly 6 or 7 things to eat maximum , and that I would eat to fulfill my hunger then stop . I tried this yesterday -as it beign first day of Ramadan , therefore first iftar- and I was simply delighted . I felt light and full , and during taraweeh , I was more able to enjoy the spirituality and focus in salah ! 
I started my iftar with a glass of water and some dates , then I had a bit of soup ( I wasn't able to complete it ) with a raghifa , then I had jus and a small pizza and briwat , then finally a slice of fruit tart . What helped me during having my iftar was eating slowly , and taking several breaks while eating .

My light iftar also made me able to have dinner , since mom made a delicious tajine ! 

Alhamdulilah I'm very satisfied with those decisions and inshAllah I'll be able to keep them during the whole month ! 
Until my next post , I wish you a happy iftar !